We have all been there, we have all been rejected at one point in our life, either in relationships, work or simply an application. I have been sitting on this topic to write about because I feel like there are so many angles one can take when writing about rejection. I think the best or simplest way is to talk about it, as with everything, the positive side of it. What you do from the rejection is what will define you as a person, so what are your options, what kind of person do you want to be?
n.1. The act of rejecting or the state of being rejected.2. Something rejected.3. Medicine The failure of a recipient’s body to accept a transplanted tissue or organ as the result of immunological incompatability; immunological resistance to foreign tissue.
Relationship rejection: Time and time again this will happen, you will feel brokenhearted, devastated, emotional torn, defeated and hopeless. That is all understandable and expected….. but that age old advice of “there is a light at the end of a tunnel” rings true. Every side step just puts you on a new path. We all don’t know what our future holds for us, the way you get there is half of it. I have seen it, I have felt it, I have helped many through it. No matter what path you are suppose to be taking from this rejection, it still sucks! Your ego takes the biggest hit and has the hardest time getting over it. In situations like this, it is hard to know the difference between your head , your heart, and your ego; lets be honest people… sometimes we didn’t actually care on the emotional attachment level, it was much more on the ego level. When you are told no, or no thank you… it hits and it hurts. I would be lying if I am not speaking out of personal experience in this. I mean there are times where I was only half in, but because my ego was playing along when the, ignoring or lack of interest came down I was devastated. the devastation came even as a surprise to myself! I can honestly say now that the constant checking and obsession comes from the ego being bruised. I think apart of me that gets caught up is when you first meet some and things are going great, you get excited for them to text, or for you to see them etc, you start talking about them; which opens you up to questions about them later on….this is where an ego plays in…having to tell your friend oooh that guy… yea he hasn’t texted me back yet. Some can see that as; that guy just was a dead beat or that you did something wrong…. and no one likes to feel that.
There are sooo many different types of rejection in regards to a relationship. I don’t know about most but I am the very up front type; tell me straight up how it is and I can handle it; I am a grown up. But men out there don’t seem to understand that or just don’t have the man power to say it like it is. I haven’t quite found the reason why that not communicating back is easier than saying you aren’t interested or that you are busy or whatever. I recently had a situation where I met a guy who right off the bat had a few of those elusive qualities we want in a person…we went out a few times, chatted it up a bit.. it was fun! I went away for awhile and when I came back it was like the encounters never happened….. well me being the unapologetic forward person that I am, I straight up ask if this is going to be something moving forward… this boy plays coy… Of course the normal person would give up.. my ego though…ohhhh it got in the way… I started getting a little frustrated and let it just go forward.. I acted my normal sweet self, I text when I think of it or what. well a month goes by and it is still not quite where I thought it would be. I kinda push a little… and I finally get an answer… now why the heck couldn’t this boy say this, in the beginning before my ego got a chance to get involved. I think guys just don’t always know what they want and we get stuck in the middle. The rejection the uncertainty, it all comes down to a guy being uncertain and when they find someone who is certain they get timid…. rejection comes from that idea of not knowing what you want….which lets be clear…we don’t want someone who doesn’t know what they want.
“When people reject you, they really are just pushing you toward the right path” ~Whitney Cummings
If you are still having issues with your recent rejection and the idea of its better this way isn’t helping you; then here are some steps to get over it:
- Have an appropriate grieving period. Take some time out of your life to process the rejection
- Talk to a trusted friend. The friend you want is the one who will tell it to you straight
- Accept the rejection early.
- Do not take rejection personally. Remember that the rejection says nothing about you as a person. Getting rejected is part of life and it is not a personal attack
Re-frame the rejection. Remembering that rejection is not about you as person, it’s time to re-frame your rejection into something else. People who talk about “being rejected” tend to take rejections more poorly than people who re-frame the rejection into something that focuses on the situation itself, not them
Know when to quit. When something doesn’t work out, that doesn’t always mean you should give up, but it’s important to recognize when it’s time to give up and move on
- Stop dwelling.
- Use it to improve. Sometimes rejection can be an important wake-up call and can help you improve your life.