Challenges help define you, but don’t break you

What we have face us and how we overcome them, are true testaments to the type of person we are.

I was recently “seeing” a guy, I use the term seeing very loosely because we fell quickly before he left for a long distance gallivant.  I have a hard time writing this blog because I feel like the last ohhh 9 months were a bit of joke… it was like having a pen pal  you had known only for 3 months… instead of signing “write soon” we wrote “I love you”….which don’t get me wrong I easily could say I didn’t love him…but that wouldn’t be true…..  I have written many blogs about love…  I know I wear my heart on my sleeve that is because I care for a lot of people far before they care for me…. Call me emotional, call me hopeless but you can’t call me uncaring. I would rather wear my heart on my sleeve then not wear a heart at all. But now that, that is said…we can move on…. for the purpose of this blog I will call it a relationship..but don’t think it was…. it was nothing of the sorts…  It was a good time, good stories, great friend…. he was there when I needed him most, some of the time….  he was the friend  I needed at the time I needed….
There were things I regretted during that time, but that only taught me how to change my future since I can’t change my past.  I guess you could say it was a mutual ending only because I wasn’t willing to “wait”  around for him to figure out how awesome I am… I know I am awesome, but I don’t need to wait around for someone to think and figure it out….. the person that is going to be worth my time will realize that from the get go and get to constantly experience it…. I sit and think about what a future could have been…  it all would have been a lie…a complete  180 from the life I lead now…  and I know I said I was willing…  and I would be, but I don’t think I could have been for him…  because he wasn’t giving as much as I was giving… and healthy relationships require give and take… So I guess I get to thank him for trying to over think  things that ended the relationship…  I am happier, which is hard because I was happy all along…  I have since met people that show me I can have the type of religious/cultural balance that I want, because I want, not because I have to…. The give and take is there…or has the potential to be there…either way it will be fair.

Life is a ongoing lesson, Moral of this lesson:

Go with your gut-–Your instincts, your family and friends usually are correct, no  matter how much you want to deny it…..
Listen to your heart ..&  mind.…Don’t put all of your heart into something your head isn’t into
Love works the way it is suppose to…  sometimes you don’t realize it right away
Tears are a waste… don’t cry because in  the end… it just wasn’t meant to be and you can’t change that.

 This is what I want, what everyone should be allowed  to have 100%  of the time:

Happy Living & Hopefully Loving

..:..All that is good must come to an end.:……:. I am just not ready yet..:..

With graduation just a day away I really have started to think hard about what I am leaving and what I am going to. I spent the past 4 years here, learning all of the socially acceptable things for a college girl. Now I am going to have to learn all new things that are acceptable things for an adult woman to do. Only in College can you go out 5 nights a week and be considered normal. Only in college can you not have a boyfriend and be considered cool. In college towns you are more likely to know the people you meet at the bar, no awkward creeps, well not as many. For me I am really bummed about leaving because I am not ready to leave this world of college. All the aspect that come along with being a college student. I enjoy my bartender, I mean ask anyone he is awesome but he knows how to treat me and my girls when we come, I am not going to find that in the adult world. I am not going to find this out there because I hope to goodness I am not frequenting a bar enough to get to the bartender like we have here in college. My sisters, friends, and those who support me. It is hard to leave them because they have either taught me a lot, I have taught them a lot, or they believe in me. I am however excited to venture out and meet new people, I am so super excited to move on and not have to homework anymore. It is such a bitter-sweet time for me right now, I don’t really know how to react to any of it.

My family comes tomorrow, I am so excited,I tried explaining my family to some people and all I could say was they are amazing. I mean it is true I am sooo entirely blessed to have the family I have. They are all coming, I mean my parents, siblings, grandparents, and one cousin. I mean I am the first in the family lineage to graduate college. It is something worth traveling too. I am just so excited to see what they do, how they react, I am wondering how long it will take for my mother to have water works, I wonder if my dad will shed a tear because I am his baby girl graduating or his tears of joy of not having to pay tuition anymore. I guess we shall find out…

ahhhh life comes at you fast, put on a helmet and hold on because this is a ride you can’t stop.