Challenges help define you, but don’t break you

What we have face us and how we overcome them, are true testaments to the type of person we are.

I was recently “seeing” a guy, I use the term seeing very loosely because we fell quickly before he left for a long distance gallivant.  I have a hard time writing this blog because I feel like the last ohhh 9 months were a bit of joke… it was like having a pen pal  you had known only for 3 months… instead of signing “write soon” we wrote “I love you”….which don’t get me wrong I easily could say I didn’t love him…but that wouldn’t be true…..  I have written many blogs about love…  I know I wear my heart on my sleeve that is because I care for a lot of people far before they care for me…. Call me emotional, call me hopeless but you can’t call me uncaring. I would rather wear my heart on my sleeve then not wear a heart at all. But now that, that is said…we can move on…. for the purpose of this blog I will call it a relationship..but don’t think it was…. it was nothing of the sorts…  It was a good time, good stories, great friend…. he was there when I needed him most, some of the time….  he was the friend  I needed at the time I needed….
There were things I regretted during that time, but that only taught me how to change my future since I can’t change my past.  I guess you could say it was a mutual ending only because I wasn’t willing to “wait”  around for him to figure out how awesome I am… I know I am awesome, but I don’t need to wait around for someone to think and figure it out….. the person that is going to be worth my time will realize that from the get go and get to constantly experience it…. I sit and think about what a future could have been…  it all would have been a lie…a complete  180 from the life I lead now…  and I know I said I was willing…  and I would be, but I don’t think I could have been for him…  because he wasn’t giving as much as I was giving… and healthy relationships require give and take… So I guess I get to thank him for trying to over think  things that ended the relationship…  I am happier, which is hard because I was happy all along…  I have since met people that show me I can have the type of religious/cultural balance that I want, because I want, not because I have to…. The give and take is there…or has the potential to be there…either way it will be fair.

Life is a ongoing lesson, Moral of this lesson:

Go with your gut-–Your instincts, your family and friends usually are correct, no  matter how much you want to deny it…..
Listen to your heart ..&  mind.…Don’t put all of your heart into something your head isn’t into
Love works the way it is suppose to…  sometimes you don’t realize it right away
Tears are a waste… don’t cry because in  the end… it just wasn’t meant to be and you can’t change that.

 This is what I want, what everyone should be allowed  to have 100%  of the time:

Happy Living & Hopefully Loving

01-01-2011 Who Would have thought!

The first day of the year, its every procrastinators dreaded day… the day that forever is coined, oh I’ll start that in the New year, well ladies and gents it is the New year, what are you going to “try” and start only to realize a month later you have forgotten to do it, only to repeat the cycle year after year. I don’t believe in yearly resolutions, I do believe in the daily realization of things that need to be changed and suree….. once a year you can dig deep to set a an outline for what you would like to discover, change, improve and conquer in the new year. But everyone should focus on the daily adventures to try and improve themselves. Like for 2011, I would love to learn Arabic, go to aesthetics school,to cherish a picture everyday(don’t worry I’ll share) and continue to becoming the women that I am suppose to be. Now see that isn’t to hard, I am not sitting here planning to rule the world or become the first woman president(Ironically those are kind of the same ;)). I am just setting myself up to accomplish things I need/want to accomplish in the next year. I could be like oh i want to lose 50 lbs, get a man worth marrying …blah blah blah but I don’t need a new year for that…i can do that when ever I want… don’t feel bad if you make up new years resolutions I won’t judge. But answering me this, why would set yourself up for failure like that in the beginning of a new year….shouldn’t you be more open to evaluating the things that happened last year and figure ways to change them? ok maybe I am judging a little.
What are your goals for the new year, dont worry I wont hold you to them!

01-01-11 picture of the day is me and my grandmother, it is amazing how much this woman has endured to be with us today, 1930, the most amazing woman look how good she looks!

….I dont only hate the way you look at me…I secretly love it

I am Sorority both literally and destined for such a life, not in the stereotypical way but in the way that I am meant to be apart of something bigger. I learned this over time and I know the nay sayers out there will be shaking their heads in disagreement, or even do that little snicker of haha every sorority girl says this… but you do not know unless you have been a true sorority girl. Any ways what I was getting at was in my last years of this sorority life interactions I have witnessed soooo many different types of hook-ups, so you would think I would be both a expert in them personally and how to give advice to those who do them. I find myself wondering what kinds of girls do some of the things I have heard, in regards to profiling. I mean I have acted a fool sometimes, who hasn’t but I have and always will be acting in a way that no one could ever deem me as “that” girl. If you could put my name in a sentence with a negative phrase that has “that girl” in it, I don’t want to be there.